I got the meditation app, “Headspace,” about a week into quarantine. I figured I might as well try out a new hobby, as I felt like I needed to somehow be productive with all this spare time. Ugh, typical neoliberal capitalist mindset always trying to be productive, am I right? Anyways, the disembodied yet approachable male voice in the app often reminds users that, while it may seem like you are alone with your mind whilst meditating, this solitude is in fact the case for your entire life. You are always alone in your own mind. And that made me realize–we’re essentially always quarantined within the confines of our own head. BOOM. How’d ya like that metaphor? Mind blowing, right? Well, I thought just as much when it first entered my head. I mean, think about it: in quarantine, individual people have had a bounty of time just to think to ourselves. Like Headspace Guy says, we’re always alone in our own head. Our minds are inescapable, it’s just that our awareness of it fluctuates depending on how we occupy our time. But the one constant in life is that we’re always going to be stuck in our own head.
If you’re anything like me, you might now be thinking to yourself, “I’ll never escape my own head? That’s absolutely terrifying!” Well, yeah, you’re not exactly wrong. But I think it all depends on your perspective. I’ve been meditating for a solid ten to fifteen minutes for the past three months, so I consider myself an expert on the mind, brain, and honestly probably the entire field of psychology at this point. So I’ll let you in on a little secret us mind-experts understand: the key to not wanting to bang your head against the wall when you discover, like I have, that it’s just you and your mind together forever till the day you die, is that (and don’t tell anyone, this is top secret) you just have to become friends with your own thoughts. Okay, I may have partially stolen that advice from my meditation guru and best friend, Headspace Guy, but I can’t help it; he’s so wise.
Now that I’ve told you my secret, I’ll give you some tips on how to actually achieve a truce between yourself and your thoughts. First of all, start simple! Strike up a polite conversation, like asking “How are you doing today?” Simple questions go a long way with your own Mind. Minds are fickle things; they like to be questioned about their feelings without too much intrusion. Try to get your mind to open up to you. If your head is feeling pained, allow your thoughts to be vented out as a form of catharsis. Maybe write in a journal, draw a picture of your feelings, or do anything that best suits expressing how your Mind feels, as each Mind is unique.
Another tip I have for making your Mind your best friend is this: never, ever, get angry with your Mind. The Mind is very sensitive, and if you start down a path of considering every negative thought or feeling willy-nilly, your Mind will not be your friend. Trust me, I’ve been there. The worst form of this is something that I’ve admittedly done too much: mull over something somebody said to you days or months or years ago, until your Mind actually believes what this person said. If this is the case, the Mind will no longer be your friend, because it mistakenly took what another person said about you as the truth. I know I know, everybody has heard this before, but it’s worth repeating: don’t let others tell you who you are. You tell your Mind who you are. You take steps towards becoming the person you want to be, and who you are capable of becoming. Don’t let other people stop you and your Mind from reaching an alliance in which you trust your Mind, and your Mind trusts you. I know it’s hard, but trust me, the Headspace Guy believes in you. And if he thinks you can do it, I do too.
Check out Headspace here: https://www.headspace.com